Traffic Judge Safety Slogans

1- I thought the officer was impersonating porky pig and so it was real hard to take him seriously.
2- If I didn't care about safety, I wouldn't be here trying to safely keep my hard earned money in my wallet.
3- If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound. Likewise, if I signal without any cars around, did I create a safety violation.
4- The safest way to ensure compliance is through intimidation.
5- The dwarfs that put in my headlights didn't correctly adjust them upwards to hit the speed limit sign.
6- I can take care of that itch under your robe, if you take care of my ticket.
7- It's all about the letter and nothing about intelligence.
8- Pay me because I can put you in jail.
9- Don't send out notices of payment due. It is safer to let people miss payments, charge exorbitant late fees, and threaten jail to any bad people that forgot to signal or were jaywalking.
10- The great thing about our society is knowing how to enforce the letter of the law.
11- The policeman said there are no ticket quotas, but that his ticket revenue wasn't in line with his personal goals.
12- If you are not drunk, I am still going to give you a ticket.
13- My twin brother was driving and borrowed my identification without asking.
14- I couldn't stop because my brakes were temporarily malfunctioning.
15- It's better to pay a thug than to pretend to fight one.
16- You're the best looking judge I've seen in a long time.
17- I didn't install the pepper spray camera. The previous owner installed it without my knowledge.
18- I can't turn my neck that far and the blinding flashlight burned my retina. If you drop the ticket, I won't sue you for negligence.
19- I met the policeman at doughnut eaters anonymous and we made a deal that I would get no tickets in exchange for a hundred donuts.
20- How does giving you absurd amounts of money increase the safety of the city?