SEO Safety Slogans

1- ­­Bring a shotgun to kill all those darned birds.
2- Linking to yourself is an art-form.
3- Following Google's guidelines exactly is a road to nowhere.
4- I really wanted to sell that pink comb, but nobody would link to the pink comb site page. 
5- Are those links real or genuinely fake?
6- It's safer to be a large whitelisted company with Google than a small penniless link builder.
7- Click fraud is real and doesn't appeal.
8- I have never been banned for life until I started doing SEO.
9- Will you tell me what I did wrong?  No that's a secret.  Small companies are not supposed to climb the serps.
10-  After you write a million articles, a giant search engine will devalue them in favor of large ecommerce sites and thus making them unsafe. 
11- The safest browser for SEO is Firefox.
12- I wrote five hundred of the best articles on Pink Bunnies and yet I still rank behind many Fortune 500 companies.  I guess their one paragraph of content was way better than my five hundred articles.
13- It's not what page you are on, but the conversions that matter; that's the new thing to tell your clients.
14- If I told you the real way people do SEO, I would probably get in trouble.
15-  Html is the safest way to code while Javascript is the least safe. 
16- Programmers dismiss SEO urls in favor of easy code.
17- Think dark and then turn on a safety bulb.
18- Matt Cutts did it!
19- Web spam! Give me more web spam. 
20- I can't tell you about the off-page optimization because it is invisible. 
21- An SEO that will tell you everything they do is not actually an SEO.  And, an SEO that won't tell you everything can't be trusted.