1- Never Hold a Firecracker tightly in your hand and let it explode.
2- The M-80s and M-70s should safely be used to blow up grandma's old food.
3- After you throw a sparkler into the air, be careful which end you pick up, to throw it away.
4- Small towns are great places to invite police officers over for illegal firework displays.
5- Don't throw the snakes into your boots.
6- Don't get the sparklers too close to grandma's wig.
7- Children and lighters don't go together.
8- Keep needle and thread close by for blown off fingers and hands.
9- Blowing on the black powder is a recipe for disaster.
10- Home made devices are less safe than those manufactured for resale.
11- It isn't safe to light off a whole canister of black powder.
12- Be careful with what goes up because it must eventually come down.
13- Wear dark clothing to make disappearing an easy matter in case a fire breaks out.
14- Buy your own firehose and hook it up to the hydrant; just in case.
15- Make sure all children are adorned with fireproof clothing and gloves prior to lighting.
16- Don't use bare feet to stomp out flames.
17- Pop Its can give old people heart attacks.
18- Making the bystanders feel unsafe will wield an unruly performance.
19- All leather motorcycle gear and helmet are best used for the person doin' the lightin'
20- If you see lightning, don't put your fireworks on the tallest nearby pole to get it lit.