1- The safest crap rolls downhill
2- The safest toilet was named after John P. Crapper
3- It is safer to look first and smell later
4- The crap stirrer should make the crap into a smooth and creamy texture
5- While inspecting, don’t be afraid to pick up some corn and peas for lunch
6- Make sure the crap is ready to produce some natural gas
7- The crap should be in a hole
8- It is safer to put sewer lines underground than above ground.
9- Don’t forget to inspect the odor of each crap pot
10- A good inspection is a crappy one
11- If you don’t inspect other peoples crap, how can you expect them to inspect your crap?
12- Test biological reactions on indigenous poops first
13- Make sure that no testing has been done on animal crap
14- Don’t allow farmers to feed their animals their own crap (i.e. Mad Cow Disease)
15- The real benefit of an above ground open sewer is that you can see how your crap compares to other peoples crap.
16- If the crap fits, bury it.
17- Don’t avoid all your crappy problems by burying them.
18- The crap whipper should be tested after the crap stirrer.
19- Good crap must be blended with other crap to make an ideal premium crap.
20- Bring your own crap sample as a benchmark to test other craps