Priest Safety Slogans

1- Living for the next life is safer than living for this one.
2- Avoid being alone with little boys.
3- Save the juicy confessions for last. 
4- The unsafe thing about being a priest is the loneliness.
5- Say what should be heard, not what you believe.
6- Your safety has a lot to do with how much the people like you; so kiss ass.
7- The safest priests either live in poverty or pretend to live in poverty.
8- Good deeds are often punished.
9- Father, forgive them for hating me for giving them money and helping them.
10- The safest way to plant a seed it to give me a wad of money.
11- Why are the "evil" priests more popular than the good ones?
12- Be careful not to reveal too many of your past sins to the parishioners.
13- Hellfire and damnation is actually a safe sermon topic.
14- A Hail Mary is a lot better than a "Hell, Mary!"  
15- It doesn't matter what you do in life as long as you go to church on Easter and Christmas and believe in God.
16- The Hail Mary pass is the only time football is allowed in the chapel.
17- For ultimate fire safety, keep the candles and the incense out of the building.
18- Don't drink the holy water.
19- You can always use the excuse that it wasn't your fault because Adam and Eve partook of the fruit.
20- I would rather see an Adam and Eve than an Adam and Steve.
21- Buy the heavy duty knee pads for tile setting at Home Depot and bring them to mass.
22- The more you pay the safer you will be in heaven.
23- A happy priest and a happy nun can make up some fun.
24- If you share a room with someone, make sure you safely have your own bed.
25- If things don't go well for you here, you can get a sex change and become a nun.

Nun Changes Her Clothes