Funny Safety Slogans
The funniest things often occur when least expected. With that said, slogans are often funnier when not intended at being funny.
1- Don’t forget to wear gloves; your butt might itch.
2- Don’t smile here! Management knows that means you are blaming a safety issue on them.
3- Safety managers are like getting peed on. They make you feel all warm on the outside, but not the inside.
4- Safety is like a lost in-law. You didn’t see them coming and now that they arrived you know what you were missing.
5- Compliance video and company policy lectures are good ways of falling asleep while getting paid.
6- You will die whether you follow safety procedures or not.
7- Where’s the safety guy, his lunch is getting all cold and eaten.
8- If safety is your top priority, Don't Work Here!
9- Asbestos doesn’t hurt you; not following protocol hurts you.
10- The secret of every company is that the only person that cares about safety is the government and the safety guy.
11- Hard headed management will never replace tight fitting safety gear. Did you ever see a baseball catcher with a loose cup?
12- The tighter the management, the shorter the breaks, the longer the safety, and the friendlier the lawsuits.
13- The key to a good marriage is a safe and routine way of doing everything.
14- Monotony and safety are like a hand and glove. The management gloves come off, if the hand ever comes out.
15- Telling your boss about an unsafe procedure is like putting your head in the way of a large rolling boulder and hoping it will bounce over you since you told someone about it.
16- Where there isn’t any joy or fun, a safety day has just begun.
17- I’m so safe that your mother would be bored.
18- Mother in laws love safety. Why then, doesn’t the protocol seem to work on the Mother-in-Law?
19- (Seinfeld, George with Cleaning Woman) Was it wrong to have sex with the cleaning woman on my desk? If I had only seen the safety compliance video, this wouldn’t have been a problem.
20- Maybe the real problem with safety is that it doesn’t cover enough areas. For example, I never saw safety protocol for eating a safe lunch or how to ask out women, at work, without getting hurt.