Actuary Safety Slogans

1- Thinking about the mathematical demise of others brings great peace and safety to the responsible actuary.
2- What happens on a large scale, will also, not necessarily happen on a small scale. So, keep your fantasies close to heart and shallow in mind.
3- The more unsafe people I exclude, the more money the company makes and the higher my bonuses.
4- The science of appropriate exclusion comes at the safety of society.
5- The rational choice is always about the green math.
6- It's the Voodoo that you do, that makes us all crazy.
7- When cutting benefits for your company, speak in a monotone voice, look down, and never try to be interesting.
8- The safest course of action is to reward those with means more than those who work for very little.
9- The worth of a life can be calculated in a moments notice. The safety prediction of that life is only a matter of large number probabilities.
10- I can't exactly say why, but the unliving actuaries all seem to follow the large mathematical trend of impractical societal exclusion.
11- Those big glasses don't make you look extra safe.
12- Did you hear of the actuary that burned out their eyes by looking through two giant magnifying glasses?
13- The reason I like being an actuary are the safe numbers on my check.
14- Calling an actuary is like calling a sleeping God on Tuesday and getting the devil to return the phone call.
15- The safest numbers are the largest.
16- The large sample is not part of the sample you took in to the doctor last week.
17- Never take an actuary to subway because they always look for the Subset.
18- My old girlfriend was an actuary, and she always called the sunset a subset.
19- Russian nesting dolls make the subsets more clear and safe.
20- The moral implications of exclusion are downright dangerous for salvation.
21- The safest way to take responsibility is to cover everyone and everything.
22- The safest way to keep your job is excluding everyone you can, while still being viable enough to get premiums.
23- And, if you're like many HMOs, don't cover anything to prevent disease or hardship. The safety of the patient isn't your concern. Money is your concern.