Accounting Safety Slogans

1- The safest way to find a penny is to find it yourself 
2- A penny found is often a very expensive penny
3- If you don’t know how to do something pass it on inconspicuously to someone else
4- If management wants more money, tell them to give you some. Don’t try and invent it.
5- Accounting is the science of safety since you can’t trust anybody with money.
6- Sarbanes Oxley makes corporations so safe that there will never be a financial crisis again.
7- The safer the penny, the better the accountant.
8- If the company has no money to pay bills, don’t answer the phone.  That way you don’t have to get hurt by your boss.
9- If the spreadsheet fits, wear it.
10- In all my life, my dream was to look for pennies and make them safe.
11- Since a ten key error is often a multiple of three.  What is the boss yelling at you a multiple of ?
12- Large checks are safer in the hands of happy employees
13- Early heart attacks chase after 50 something year old accountants.  Keep that in mind.
14- The way to avoid carpal tunnel is to stay out of low level accounting jobs. 
15- The more you ten key the less safe you are. 
16- I would rather work 100 hours a week for 100k a year than make 50k a year and work 40 hours a week.
17- If the big six don’t kill you, nothing will.
18- I feel safe when I am adding up my numbers.
19- The safest accounting system doublechecks everyone without anyone noticing that they aren’t trusted. 
20- It’s safer for you to not let your subordinates work overtime.  Upper management will want your head if overtime is too high.
21- Why can’t an accountants smile?  It’s probably due to the fact that they can’t get the penny out of their $%@.